On Monday, The Regrettes’ singer/guitarist shared a lengthy statement on Instagram, detailing the abusive relationship she says she endured with the SWMRS’ drummer that began when she was 16 and he was 22 years old.
“Because of our age difference, Joey would continually ask me to keep our relationship as hidden as possible and I did,” she explained in her account, noting that he would talk about their relationship getting more serious once she was of age. “We had multiple conversations where he would say something along the lines of ‘I want to move at your pace’ and ‘I don’t want to have sex until you’re 18,’ but then would act in completely contradicting ways, pressuring me into sexual situations.”
She continued to describe how the “rules” changed as their nearly year long relationship progressed. “Every time we took a step sexually it was because he wanted to and made it clear by either putting my hand on his crotch or shaming me for saying I wasn’t comfortable, gaslighting me or ignoring me when I didn’t give my consent,” she wrote.
“Two months before my 18th birthday, he flew me to New York to spend a few days together. Right before the trip, he told me he was there to rehearse, so I would be seeing him almost only in his bed at night. One of these nights, he changed the ‘rules’ he had prefaced our entire relationship on,” Night added. “He now said ‘let’s not pay attention to my exact time frame.’ This conversation was really eye opening. His timeline and promise of a ‘real’ relationship was the thing that strung me along but once we got closer to the thing he would call the finish line, it was apparent it was bullshit all along. I knew I was done and chose to end it.”
After their relationship ended, the Regrettes toured with SWMRS and “were treated like strangers from a band I had previously considered to be some of my closest friends.”
“My goal here isn’t to ‘cancel’ anyone, but to further the conversation on the intricacies of power abuse, grooming, and manipulation that not only exists in the music industry, but in so many other industries,” Night concluded her message.
Night decided to share her story after SWMRS shared an “an unbelievably hypocritical statement on social media” that delusionally positioned “themselves as woke feminists” and not only triggered her “as a victim, but is complete bullshit and needs to be called out.”
When reached, a rep for Night said she had no additional comment. SPIN has reached out to SWMRS’ management about Night’s accusations.
Read Night’s full account and SWMRS’ statement from Sunday below.